I think it’s over…shh

…so I wanna write but I am struggling with words.. I can see through the fog I see hope After decades of abuse…since I was 8 years old I think. Except I never remember learning in school What abuse is. Not the physical evidentiary kind. This ducks up your life like nothing I can explain […]

Return home

Yes. Today…in the dark hours. I rode silently in the back of the car. Reached home to be Greeted by the dog. He howled and made these tiny yelping sounds…sniffing me! Then he went on to the balcony and sat looking for my daughter. Him waiting and looking out, made my heart go out to […]

BPD glitches

So…. It took me 10 days to get my act together…my bowel movements and my sleep and my coffee times, blogging time, appetite…everything went for a toss given the 12 hour time difference and my age difference and changing hotels….Coming from a third world country to a first world country.. Teehee Coming from a third […]

I can be BPD… and more!

So… Am sitting here under a tree…at the university campus. Absorbing the facts of what’s happened n happening in my life. I didn’t just travel half way across the world…I crossed a lot of time…my memories coming back. Arriving here after 11 years of being away….is still surreal. My daughter will start college and then […]

Going from Third world country to first world country:

….so this is a tough one. I have returned to my home in a first world country after 11 years and the entire journey and last 3 days here have been very painful. I have to disassociate and keep a facade so I don’t crumble infront of my daughter. I was not expecting my depression […]

My belief system gave me BPD?

“Our belief system goes to grave with us” ….says I So i choose wisely. And choose what works for me today and be willing to change….Be fickle…change is allowed. I won’t inherit it blindly. My father would tell me..”.live making noise…because aint nobody’s dad buying my food”  I beleive I have BPD. First I had […]