Hello world, hello California
I am here. I came from a third world country to a first world country. I travelled through time.
I arrived 5 days ago, but they were very painful and i disassociated a lot. My daughters fought me tooth n nail and i fought back this time….this time i fought back for me. We all broke down n cried and yelled and cussed at each other….
Body scan is revealing i am very tired. The sun healed me. And the familiar sky and the shape of the trees made me smile this morning. New leaves are coming out and birds were chirping. I even heard a woodpecker i think.
I had been sitting on a big Heamorraid on my ass for the last week and flying and sitting for 36 hours really hurt. But it didnt stop me. Today i gotta make it go away.
I am alive and breathing slowly…cautiously….
Please watch the sunset for me, i havent seen one in 5 days now.
My feet are swollen and paining. But i will walk more today. I am not used to walking or being out.
I handled the airports well this time, although i did freak out during the flight and had to chant a lot. A public restaurent noise levels almost killed me ….people food chatter….but my girls didnt have any trouble finishing their food. For me, no appetitite plus noise made me wanna leap outta my chair and run for the woods…hehe
I am alive.
My daughters are alive and have a life.
I can start here. Build a life…
I have to try.
I am calling on the universe to help me please!!
So much gratitude to have a warm safe place to stay and heal.