The more promises he broke….the more promises i made and kept my promises.
“Daddy cant make it, he has a meeting. But he said to buy you a jetplane and he said sorry.”
Every broken promise by him, made me make a new promise to my children. And everyday promises were broken, i kept making up new ones and fullfilling each promise. And my life as i felt… became a train of promises…succession of living from promise to promise to promiseland. hehe
“Sure sweetheart, mommy will be there to pick you up and mommy got this….don’t worry. ”
Then one day mommy could not even keep a promise she made to herself…to stay alive. No matter what. Stay alive. No matter rape….keep alive. You have to stay alive for both these daughters.
Its this holi fucking festival here. And its really brought out the true colors of my handler.
“I hate festivals. Not celebrating. You can celebrate, i didnt stop you”. He told me yesterday
Something just struck me.
I trusted him.
I trusted him like i trusted my Dad.
My owner, handler of my life for last 22 years, decision maker, finance controller, sex controller, affection controller, hug controller, fear controller….
“You dont need sex, you had plenty when you dated the men, before marriage.
Stop complaining, you live in a palace. Complain complain complain
But, i am your wife……fuck me, touch me, hug me, dance with me, playthis festival of colors with me…..i just need a hug, am missing my dad, he always played this festival with me.
Just look at me, do i look pretty?
You married me. You walked around the fire with me 7 times and you promised to protect me…i am remembering now…then answer this :
why would you sit and have drinks with the man who tried to physically rape your wife, who hurt me, your wife.
I told you about it, i showed you my bloody cut palms…that was real. It did happen. Iknow. I remember.
Why did you break your promises?
I did not.