I have no recollection of my trip to USA… Its been 3 weeks i returned to this third world country prison and my days are blurred. I get some energy and i try to make myself useful, but then i get tired and my body starts to hurt and i cant take this pain. The […]

Read More I can’t stop the crying…

I wanna write It might not make sense But i am gonna write Day 8….fuck Been 8 days i returned to this hell of a third world country. Literally arrived to a shit home filled with mosquitos n smell of death. My controller was living here with the dog for the sake of the dog…and […]

Read More Back to third world country: Day 8

Hello world, hello California I am here. I came from a third world country to a first world country. I travelled through time. I arrived 5 days ago, but they were very painful and i disassociated a lot. My daughters fought me tooth n nail and i fought back this time….this time i fought back […]

Read More Captains log. Day 5. Safely landed in CA

Today is a big day…. It should feel like a big day…i think i should celebrate even…but very quietly. The controller is watching and laying several obstacles. He does not want my children to be happy. I realized for sure today morning, ihave proof. He does not care for them, thats for sure. He withheld […]

Read More Title: the gratitude of a abused mother

The more promises he broke….the more promises i made and kept my promises. “Daddy cant make it, he has a meeting. But he said to buy you a jetplane and he said sorry.” Every broken promise by him, made me make a new promise to my children. And everyday promises were broken, i kept making […]

Read More Broken promises & mental abuse: i kept my promises

I feel like I am moving through clouds…seeing new things, feeling the chills, watching my heart stop, my breath held…another day passes infront of my eyes. Yesterday…. I was gaslighted by 2 abusive alpha males in a third world country. I saw it happen to me, Lies made up with a smile Oh the mocking […]

Read More Gut pain & Gaslighting

For as long as I can remember I have had dental issues. Going for braces, to a nearby town, riding in the car with my mom, and uncle S and his doll like daughter….she committed suicide I heard, when she was only 27….why I have wondered. But I remember her kindness and smile and a […]

Read More The mental & the dental chair

Please identify your fellow companions in your journey through life…who are the closest to you, part of you. Who is your most trusted person? Yes. You heard me right. It’s important to assess these close relations. Examine them…flip em turn them inside out, find those examples when you felt like someone just slapped you and […]

Read More Abuse: In the name of Love!

My heart is heavy since yesterday. This very personal conversation I am sharing with you because it triggered a series of memories. Most are foggy, but a few just hit me hard…..I cant believe what I see!! But I trusted her She is my mother I love her No matter what I have been there […]

Read More A daughter? In a third world country?

Yes…that’s actually a question… And the answer is yes. …that’s what I believed..education builds character, defines who you are, gets you respect and more money, etc etc. So, I settled with a IV league PhD holder. Everybody approved of the match. I feel really stupid in this moment, as I write about my belief system […]

Read More Can a PhD holder from IV league be a narcissist?

Alrighty… Going back in time, I was thinking about all the different times I didnt die. I survived to tell a story, my story. I knew in that moment, when death stared me in the eye…everytime…I didnt feel fear, very strangely. Everytime, I just went Into auto pilot…warrior mode. I will fight till I am […]

Read More Until we are dead, it just remains a speculation