“It’s my hell….”… that’s how mental illness feels to anyone who can feel. And no-one can ever know what my hell feels like. I used to feel that way…felt like it..trapped in hell…no sign of hope or help or love…day after day…nothing could bring a smile… And then something happened…3 years ago… I strung some […]Read More I was left for dead everytime….and everytime i had to be reborn
So…. It took me 10 days to get my act together…my bowel movements and my sleep and my coffee times, blogging time, appetite…everything went for a toss given the 12 hour time difference and my age difference and changing hotels….Coming from a third world country to a first world country.. Teehee Coming from a third […]Read More BPD glitches
So… Am sitting here under a tree…at the university campus. Absorbing the facts of what’s happened n happening in my life. I didn’t just travel half way across the world…I crossed a lot of time…my memories coming back. Arriving here after 11 years of being away….is still surreal. My daughter will start college and then […]Read More I can be BPD… and more!
….so this is a tough one. I have returned to my home in a first world country after 11 years and the entire journey and last 3 days here have been very painful. I have to disassociate and keep a facade so I don’t crumble infront of my daughter. I was not expecting my depression […]Read More Going from Third world country to first world country:
“Our belief system goes to grave with us” ….says I So i choose wisely. And choose what works for me today and be willing to change….Be fickle…change is allowed. I won’t inherit it blindly. My father would tell me..”.live making noise…because aint nobody’s dad buying my food” I beleive I have BPD. First I had […]Read More My belief system gave me BPD?
I wanna share what my older daughter said to me 2 weeks ago. I was blind…and I got light. She is such a beautiful feeling child…except I didn’t notice until recently. I was in lot of pain and didnt know they were hurting too. I thought i had them protected and safe. I was wrong. […]Read More To be free: Wish of a BPD woman
Can I be me? I donno who I am is what I believed. But I think I knew all along that i was different. I didn’t fit any probability theorem. I felt everyone and was kind and made a Lotta noise. But i am finding me through you.. Through writing. I set out to […]Read More Can I be me?
So… Am sitting in my balcony, Looking at the Sky Thoughts running like a river Connecting dots… And i am asking and wondering again..who am I? A predator, a victim Or a healer I think I have a little bit of everything and everyone I meet…in me. I feel it. I feel you. I dont […]Read More Healer, predator, or victim
Today: A relative is visiting me today after lunch. He is my big cousin brother. He has seen me since I was born. He attended my parents wedding. I attended his wedding and loved his daughter like mine. He and his daughter have seen my posts and are anxious to know if I am well. […]Read More I was quiet, I was not blind!
Yes….I am a woman. I am mentally sick. I am being kept as a slave…along with my 2 daughters. I am a slave. I have no rights I have no feelings I just have to keep pushing and pushing … Or I will be whipped with such bad things…blamed and mocked and ridiculed…begging for my existence […]Read More Mentally sick woman kept as a slave
This here proves that the plant was tricked and gaslighted. The plant is me with BPD…the plant is alive and hence has a shape? and energy? and hunger? But the plant was told there is no light for you….you are destined to die in the darkness…inside the shell. I made these organic (mask shape) pots […]Read More Coming out of our shells
I wrote the following post 6 months ago. Publishing today. I have lived with bpd for many years. So when i am now realizing my symptoms and recognizing my weaknesses….i feel like….i am seeing the symptoms…but Everything in the past. So….today…i sit and wonder…how have i become this person…so hopeless n damaged…. When did his […]Read More Survival of BPD person in third world country