Written June 2018: before the disCovery of truth. “BC” I want to call it. (It also stands for a very favourite cussword of mine…hehe)
Look around you….at people you have any relation/interaction with….yes….including the maid and the driver, and the neighbor and the Relatives and friends….people closest to you….people you TRUST fo watch out for you!! Have you confided in them how you feel, have you expressed to them you are in pain?
Do they ACCEPT your story…Are they listening? Do You FEEL they care? Is someone understanding your pain, or are you getting dismissed…YOUR pain put down and your Choices taken away…poof!! (Lets just start with these few simple questions)
Start creating a distance from such human beings…cut them loose…you will FEEL lighter. If you are here…you are looking for answers….and this makes sense how?
A. You are feeling bad because you expressed your feelings.
B. You BELEIVE that you have hurt their FEELINGS.
C. If you REALLY hurt their feelings, then why do they KEEP coming back for your company?
D. While…you’re still beating yourself that YOU hurt their feelings…and want to make amends EVERYTIME you see them.
H. You are now used to them…to loose them is not possible…. you are fucked. Look out for yourself.
R. WHAT did you get? What are you getting? cakes and flowers OR tears and flowers? CHOOSE wisely!!
Ps: I am Feeling a little hopeful today…although my rTMS therapy starts on monday ..scared and very scared. Going alone…