I am a stigma

I learnt the difference between the two words and also what they mean…since i did not know the meaning. I didnt realize it applied to me! Stigma is a noun.

My conversation with my younger daughter (D)  

Me: I am a stigma because i have BPD ..a illness.

D: what… what is stigma mean?

Me: Its a stain…a shame

D: seriously?

Me: well…. Since i am writing about my BPD…writing my truth….what if people say your mom is a Stigma?!

D: I dont care what anyone says. If i hate someone,,,then it doesnt matter.

Me: What if you like them?

D: …then i will not like them anymore.. And the third time…. Karma !! She said. We laughed together and she gave me a hug. And i only felt love….i did not feel like a Stigma! Ps: the second word i learnt “stigmatized” Bpd woman memories some triggers A quiet storm….i feel inside I read yesterday….blogs of a few people…who are living and writing about how i feel….i can see a part of me in every writer…. The war has been waging for years now…..fathers loosing their daughters to unknown death…mothers suffering…teens craving love… Mental vs physical….mental Wins! I am physically functioning… But because of my bpd mental illness…i Donot taste food …or feel my skin…or get outta my balcony for days together….so ….good point well made! Sorted?! Humans vs people….bpd makes us live in an era when show of our emotions was called theatre! ……just .like when i am happy and start entertaining my daughters…they laugh n squeal to stop!! Hehe…… We are the extinct ones! Howz that for an argument?!! I wanna save the minds of the BPD people and harness their creatively….our feelings at 200 %….can find cures…we can heal you…because we take away your pain…and put a smile on it! Is anybody taking notes here!?? Why dont we all fuck… till everybody has a mental diease and we all look the same !?? Heads down…looking at the phone…faceless people…….because when i look from the moon… Dont hide like i hid for 11 yrs. The world wont change…but you will change ! Coz there wont be nothing left of you. ..the moon is not going anywhere….and it will continue to make you smile… if you smile… then i will smile..and i can then make 200 more smiles with my enhanced feelings…. The end……. 

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